The Wily Witch and the Grand Wizards

A few days ago, March 24th, Theresa May – Margaret Thatcher was the Wicked Witch – summoned the self-styled Tory Grand Wizards, Boris Johnson, Jacob Rees-Mogg, David Davis, David Lidington, Damian Green, Dominic Raab, Steve Baker, Steve Barclay. Michael Gove, Alistair Burt and Iain Duncan Smith to a meeting at her little witch’s cottage, Chequers.

The end result was she promised to resign if they voted for the interim agreement part of her dreadful deal, leaving an essential part about negotiating a longer term agreement out of it. A real botch that makes a nonsense out of a pig’s ear, but typically Tory.

So a number of these Grand Wizards, all stalwart men of sterling and unshakeable conviction who had repeatedly said hers was a dreadful deal, changed their minds and found they could support a dreadful deal after all, because they saw a leadership contest they could participate in. After all, self-interest-and-country-be-damned is a Tory virtue. Anything they say after this about their being for the national interest is openly exposed as a lie. It’s a power-grab they are after.

Of course, as we know, May lost the Friday vote anyway, even with their back-stabbing support, so we are back where we were before the witch and wizards met. I don’t really know how wily May really is, or how grand the Tory wizards are, but between the lot of them, they couldn’t organise a pissing contest in a public bog.

Whenever the next election, if any of these self-seeking aresholes are still in parliament, Britain will finally have the representation it deserves, and might as well have surrendered in 1939.

I know the Labour contribution to the brexit debacle has been weak, muted, minimal, compromising, vacillating, and ineffectual. However, they did not contribute an iota to the brexit disaster. They didn’t start it; they didn’t support it; they didn’t prolong it; they weren’t consulted about it; and they didn’t make it worse. They were inert, a failure of opposition, and I will likely never vote Labour again as a result. SNP looks better and better.

The crisis is one entirely of Tory manufacture and ownership, concerned solely about (1) keeping the Tories in power and preventing UKIP incursions into their voter base (hence Cameron’s ill-advised referendum in the first place), and (2) an internal Tory power struggle about who gets to call the shots post-Cameron, and that has been dragging on for 3 years. That is why brexit negotiations got nowhere slowly. May decided to keep this a Tory-only process, excluding all opposition parties, and Tory factionalism prevented any brexit agreement from being ratified.

The Tories liked to call themselves the “natural party of government”. Now everyone knows they are the natural party of self-seeking, chaos and disaster. Vote Tory and damn the national interest. We need an anti-Tory, cross-party alliance, with tactical voting. In every Tory constituency, if you don’t vote for the candidate most likely to unseat the Tory – Labour, Lib-Dem, Green, Independent, either nationalist party – you are voting to prolong Tory grip on power and promoting damage to the national interest. We need a major reform of the electoral system and parliament, not just tinkering with fixed term parliaments, and the Tories will never provide it.

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